It is fair to say that I spend a big part of my day thinking about cancer. Of course, right? Even though I am officially cancer free I still deal with the repercussions of cancer everyday as I rebuild my right boob. Every time I shower, get dressed, sleep and exercise. It is with me always right now and I know that won’t always be the case.
I chose to only remove one breast-there was no reason to remove the other- but the differences between my two sides are startling-even after almost a month. And it isn’t even the rebuilding process that I think about-I spend more time thinking about the process, the people, the energy, education and the mental part. You have these huge moments of “oh, shit” I better really think about the next half of my life (like I don’t do that already!) that challenge me to consider different ideas of what I am going to do with myself. Mostly though I have been thinking about how to share and how to prepare others for this experience. I think there is a need.
I know I am a little different (that is not a pat on the back). I think about things differently than a lot of people. What has shocked me most is all the blogs and info out there about BC focusing so much on the doom and gloom and the victimization of the whole disease. I know that I got off easy though, there are a lot of people who have it much worse than me but does that discredit how I dealt with it? Not sure how to handle that yet.
I keep going back to the healthy food and life thing. Eating home cooked, good food, moving, sunshine, fresh air and positive attitude stuff. That is the stuff I do well and want to share if that is what people need. It sure helped me this summer and fall.